Cage/Match

Oh lord, here we go. It's another animated Cage movie. This time by the studio that brought the horrid eyesore Jimmy Neutron to life. So of course we end up talking about Orson Welles and ant magic instead. Oh, and grandmas fuck now. This is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks

The most important lesson here is that if you're ever feeling like the cock of the walk after winning your first hand of gin...maybe don't get right into your car. We're obviously talking Sonny this episode. Nic Cage's one and only directing attempt. You have to deal with some James Franco face, but it might be worth it. Keep it in your pants, Halloween Ted. This is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks

Get ready to jig and reverse jig your way to debtor's prison...because we're talking Christmas Carol: The Movie...and no, it's not the Zemeckis 3d diarrhea one. We're joined by four time Cage Match guest, Shey, to deep dive into mice in films, chains and The Holiday. Come and be visited by our three horrible specters. This is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks

Alright, Baby, pre-moisten those lollipops because we're in for a ride. It's Christopher Coppola's 1993 Deadfall! A movie about criss cross double crosses that star Michael Biehn calls one of his worst movies ever. We're joined by friend, Joey "The Smoke" to try and unpack one of Cage's wildest performances. Wig? Check. Fake nose? Check. Weird voice? Fuck yes, check. This is Cage Match.

Hooooooo, boy. Time for some early 90's race relations in a surprisingly funny comedy starring Nic Cage and Samuel L Jackson. Cage Dancer Freeman joins us to review one of just five movies by E. Max Frye. This 1993 movie has a stacked cast, some quality comedic payoffs, a very good dog, and some incredibly inept cops. Grab your weird sex gear, white people...This is Cage Match

You're either on Team Scorpion or Team Apache....guess where Nick falls this week as we review 1990's Fire Birds. A super dry clone of Top Gun with no beach volleyball and teeth clacking, other than Tommy Lee Jones when he gets his

Alright ding-a-lings, let’s get ready for some car crash, stranded in the desert antics! Here’s a 27 second cameo by Cage in an oddly star studded debut flick by Adam Rifkin. Obviously it’s Never on Tuesday, the direct to VHS masterpiece about trying to turn a lesbian straight (it was the 80’s). Have your tallest lady friend carry you off into your fantasies. This is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks

Move over, A Time to Kill, because here comes 1989's Italian invasion of Ethiopia war drama: Time to Kill. In matching all other summaries of this movie, I also will tell you little. Grab your nearest BuzzBallz® and get ready for an unreliable narrator: us. This is Cage Match

Grab your nearest coxswain and come learn how to stroke with special guest, Hayden! We're obviously talking about the greasiest butt movie Cage has ever done: The Boy in Blue. Cage plays Ned Hanlon but how does he do in this 1989 Canadian hero biopic? Eh....but at least he is incredibly ripped this time. This is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks

Grab your high-waisted pants and suspenders and come find out what's in the bugle case because we're reviewing Francis Ford Coppola's 1984 The Cotton Club. Our boy plays a slightly unhinged gangster in Coppola's ode to tap, black performers, and crime dramas. Call your gun-moll and pull up a cuck chair, this is Cage Match.

Intro music by: Bill Panks